In the Dark

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In the Dark

Post by Flow on Sat 14 Mar 2009, 7:53 pm

First poem here. Concrete criticism and love is appreciated. (:

In the Dark.

In the dark, I sit here, a mere statue of time,
suffocated by the icy darkness which surrounds and insulates my heart.

Tears emerge from my eyes and flee down my face,
to escape the furious tempest within.

My heart, a raging inferno, burns bright with wicked white light,
ignited by the twisted vision of your legs wrapped around his.

You're open eyes tell me the story of your crimes,
they're far too wide for me to comprehend.

The darkness rains on my heart, decimating logic and telling reason to wait,
it makes me forget those wide-open eyes and cools the fire, flaming within.

The darkness is empty yet fills me to the brim,
it emancipates me from the slavery of my emotions,
and gives me a completely illogical reason to live on.

I sit here, holding hands with the darkness,
forgetting to remember time a smile creeps upon my lips.
it starts to rain as the tide of reality pulls me back into the pulsating ocean of time,
I can safely feel again,
I feel cold,
I feel happy, in the dark.
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Re: In the Dark

Post by Jack Skellington on Sat 14 Mar 2009, 7:55 pm

I'm no expert at poetry, but I adore this. I really get the character's feelings.
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Re: In the Dark

Post by Flow on Sat 14 Mar 2009, 10:38 pm

Haha, but half the posts ON here happen to be yours.

Now now, no need for modesty (=
You'll see my bad poetry soon enough.
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Re: In the Dark

Post by Jack Skellington on Sat 14 Mar 2009, 11:07 pm

Can you blame me? lol@chu
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