Random Collection~

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Random Collection~

Post by Jack Skellington on Sat 14 Mar 2009, 5:07 am

There's a handful for your thoughts.

Is A Princess A Princess?
People say she's a princess
But if she's a princess,
Where's her prince?
Where's her castle?
Where are the guards?
Is there a pea?
So if she's such a princess,
Why doesn't she have these things?

Plasticity
It floats slowly through the air
It frolics, in a black dress
Getting run over
and over
and over again
helplessly.
Not caring, picking itself back up again
Indestructible
Unbreakable
Incorruptible
Disgustingly beautiful
Yet hideous at the same time.

Perfectionistic
"Something's wrong with this picture," he says.
"Something doesn't fit."
You know what doesn't fit?
The stitches
The pain
The annoyance
The crying
The capitalism
The consumerism
The hatred
The racism
The sexism
The people
All eating up everyone in it's path
When people get past that,
Then things will fit in your perfectionist world.

The Middle?
I hate this
I'm stuck in the middle
Struggling to escape the cavern
To get rid of this
I'm second rate
Always, every time
Never the priority
Never, even when I'm hurt.
Abused
Crippled
emotionally and physically.

To Draw Love On Her Arms Day Haiku
Draw Love On Her Arms
Only one day of the year
Daily it should be.


Criticisms welcome. you have pleased him

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Re: Random Collection~

Post by Riddled Wishes on Sat 14 Mar 2009, 8:40 am

I love the last one.
Not just because I adore TWLOHA, but because its short yet it has a rythm that keeps it in your head.

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Re: Random Collection~

Post by Jack Skellington on Sat 14 Mar 2009, 8:41 am

Thank you. you have pleased him

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Re: Random Collection~

Post by lyrical_mess on Sat 14 Mar 2009, 7:29 pm

I like Perfectionistic best. I like the way it starts out, the rhetorical question in the pissed-off tone, the repetivive rhythym bit and the end. Which is pretty much all of it. Y'know?

I like your content more than your technique actually, in all of the poems.
In the first one, I like the rhythym of the questions, especially "Is there a pea?". That line made me smile and the way it sounds in my head just...fits.

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Re: Random Collection~

Post by Jack Skellington on Sat 14 Mar 2009, 7:34 pm

Thank you! you have pleased him

One of the poems would've worked better if the spacing had worked better. But yeah. Thanks. you have pleased him

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Re: Random Collection~

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