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Post by --- on Thu 29 Jan 2009, 8:42 am

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Last edited by --- on Fri 04 Dec 2009, 11:26 am; edited 2 times in total

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Post by emily. on Sat 31 Jan 2009, 7:43 am

TINK. I'M AWAKE NOW SO I CAN LEAVE A DECENT COMMENT.
I always feel awkward commenting poetry because, like... I feel like my interpretations might shit the author off. But here goes.

I love this poem. I love the way the words work together and I love the way it used 'snake' and 'home/shelter' - I felt like both represented actual people. Snake (to me) being an ex-lover or someone they were very closely involved with in any way, but only for a short time because they turned out to be bad for them. And 'shelter' or 'home' being the best friend who was still there when it all came crashing down (and was maybe broken and saved previously). And I know that's not what you wrote it about, at least I doubt it, but it's what I took from it.

The first two stanzas were my favourite, omg, you have no idea how much I love those lines. idk why, really, they're just... amazing. Because of the imagery - it was very literal imagery, which is what I tend to like best - and because... idk, I just loved them.

The only thing that could probably have been improved was maybe developing a stronger rhythm? That was the only thing I struggled with, picking up a rhythm. Apart from that, aaaah Tink, write more poetry. lol@chu I'm normally not a big one for poems but this was just... love.
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